Healing begins with curiosity and discovering what best supports YOU on your unique journey.
The HEAL YOU newsletter is dedicated to helping you heal chronic stress, trauma, and nervous system dysregulation, with a special focus on the lasting impact of loving someone struggling with addiction.
Welcome to this research informed newsletter to deepen your understanding of various healing modalities and discover what resonates most with you (this is a no AI zone, evidence-informed research only!!).
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Literature that Inspired Change
It feels like fall around here for SURE…and actually, a bit more like winter, since recently we woke up to several inches of fresh snow and no power! I seems like we got more snow in this recent dump, then we did all last winter! I am quite excited about the prospect of more snow, which means more access to outdoor winter activities!!! Also, the snow and the crisp fall air, the beautiful changing leaves and pumpkin spice oat milk lattes increase my desire to curl into a blanket and grab a good book! SO, it’s perfect that October is dedicated to some of the earlier books I read within my healing journey, and I reference and re-read them often. Each of these books have been instrumental at various stages, and I always seem to be sharing these titles with friends, clients and family.
I know, I know, I know….the idea of books or literature as a “modality for healing” is a bit of a stretch. AND, it was reading that was a gateway into my ability to access other modalities and helped open my perspective to embrace all forms of healing.
There are two nuggets from today’s book, What Happened to You?, by Bruce D. Perry, M.D, Ph.d and Oprah Winfrey, that have really stayed with me, left me pondering and kept me talking to others, even years after finishing the book. The book is written as a discussion between Bruce D. Perry, M.D, Ph.d and Oprah Winfrey, and includes conversations that discuss trauma, resilience and healing.
Here’s the two points that stuck out the most…
First, Dr. Perry’s discussions on trauma and addiction increased my understanding of the impact of trauma and how traumas often lead to substance use disorders. “Addiction is complex. But I believe that many people who struggle with addiction and alcohol abuse are actually trying to self-medicate due to their developmental histories of adversity and trauma.” By asking those around me that struggle with addiction, “what happened to you?”, you could begin to understand the “why” behind their addiction.
Dr. Perry put it this way, “This is why a developmentally informed, trauma-aware perspective is important for all our systems impacted by or dealing with substance use and dependence - education, mental health, health, law enforcement, juvenile and criminal justice, family courts.” The discussion between Dr. Perry and Oprah went on to discuss how the baseline of stress is different for those that have experienced trauma, and that one of the most powerful forms of support is connectedness, that connectedness counters the pull of addictive behaviors. AND, this connection, is also one of the hardest aspects to maintain within those around us that struggle with addiction due to the damaging effects of substance use.
The book really explained the challenges within those struggling with addiction, their need for connection to heal, and the difficulty of supporting those within our current systems due to the punitive and demoralizing nature of addiction in society and the treatment options that are currently available. If I’m being honest, in those early years, before the healing, I was part of the community that demoralized those around me that were struggling with addiction. I was of bubbling over with indifference, rage, annoyance and resentment. I was exhausted and burnt out.
This book softened my approach to those I love that struggle with addiction, it increased my desire to understand their need to use substances to cope, and allowed me to find boundaries from a place of deep compassion and love.
Second, beyond helping me to find more compassion for the addiction struggles within those that I love, it provided a researched based framework that explained why my practices and approach to healing had been so effective. Before this book I had been participating in a daily movement and meditation practice, joined support groups and started therapy. I saw each aspect of my healing as just one piece to the bigger puzzle. I knew that when you live around those in addiction you loose SO MUCH.
You loose your loved ones as you once knew them.
You loose siblings, parents, children, and friends that once were present.
You loose yourself in the chaos.
You loose fun and play.
You loose safety and security.
You loose traditions and celebrations.
You loose ease and peace.
You loose dreams.
You loose hope.
You loose compassion.
You loose finances and credit scores.
You loose hugs and laughter.
You loose BBQ’s and fishing buddies.
You loose advice and support when you struggle.
You loose comfort.
You loose….looose…..loose SO. DAMN. MUCH.
And becuase I had lost so much of those I love and of myself, I knew healing was necessary, and I was working hard to understanding the various components in my life that needed to change in a big way.
When I read this book, it reaffirmed that the work and effort I was moving towards was in fact, research based, and had been practiced within ancient healing communities far beyond my existence. Whew, this felt like a huge relief. Many of the aspects that were used in ancient communities, I had already started to weave into my life, and they were the cornerstone for where I wanted to keep doing my own healing work, as well as what I wanted to create to support others along their journey. In the book Dr. Perry shares, “If you look at Indigenous and traditional healing practices, they do a remarkable job of creating a total mind-body experience that influences multiple brain systems….these traditional practices have cognitive, relational-based, and sensory elements.” He goes on to talk about the different aspects of the practices and how they work within the nervous system to support increased levels of stress. “Aboriginal healing practices are receptive, rhythmic, relevant, relational, respectful and rewarding - experiences known to be effective in altering neural systems involved in the stress response. These practices emerged because they worked. People felt better and functioned better, and the core elements of the healing process were reinforced and passed on. Cultures separated by time and space converged on the same principles for healing.”
The pillars of traditional healing are:
- Connection to clan and the natural world
- Regulating rhythm through acne, drumming and song
- A set of beliefs, values and stories that brought meaning to even senseless, random trauma
- On occasion, natural hallucinogens or other plant-derived substances used to facilitate healing with the guidance of a healer or elder
This was my “ah-ha” moment I thought as I read the pages, “this is why it is all working so wonderfully to help me heal, I am combining so many aspects of the traditional pillars of healing into my routines.” Attending groups that support healing like Al Anon and yoga communities, working with a therapist, my daily rhythm and movement practice for regulation and processing, daily meditation and silence practice, breathwork, reiki and more holistic practices that increased my feeling of connectedness to all beings, increasing time in the natural world, spending time connecting with supportive positive friends….this was why it was all working. Dr. Perry goes on to share that today’s best trauma treatments include a variation of these four pillars, though most of the approaches over focuses on psychopharmacology and cognitive behavioral approaches, while undervaluing the power of connectedness and rhythm. I had been using connectedness and rhythm as the staple of my healing, and I was changing, healing, adapting to my stress in a new more regulated state.
Before I read this book, I had learned so many nuggets of information from various teaches within different communities, alanon, yoga, somatic, meditation, and each had given me a glimpse of how the body and mind can heal over time through different avenues. This book, and the studies and research done by Dr. Perry, helped to reiterate why what I was doing to heal was working. And encouraged me to continue with a revived vigor.
If you have been around my work long, you might see these various pillars woven into all the work I share. Well, okay, we haven’t discussed to much on natural hallucinogens, we will go into this pillar of healing when we dive into the modality on breathwork! I know, get excited!
SO, I highly recommend this book if you are looking to understand important aspects of how trauma can impact addition and traditional systems that have been used to support healing for centuries. You might walk away with more understanding, compassion and a inspiration to start your own rhythmic movement daily practice or join a healing community!
Have you read What Happened to You? Did you find them it as supportive as I have/do? Do you have other titles that have been really instrumental to your journey, if so, I’d love to hear!
AND, again and always, thanks for being here. Thanks for embarking on your own healing. It is the most brave work you can do, and we are all better off when we are all showing up and working on the hard stuff.
Sending so much light and love,
Heidi
Website to access all the happnenings ---> lifenflow.com
1) DIY: FREE 40 day Somatic Practice ---> LINK HERE
2) DIY: Year of Somatic Daily Practice Library with Workbook ---> LINK HERE
3) Individual Somatic Therapy ---> LINK HERE - Accepting New Clients!
Private 1:1 therapy sessions offering personalized support through compassionate, trauma-informed care, somatic practices, and mindful exploration to help you reconnect with yourself, gain clarity, and cultivate meaning (ONLY in person and online for clients within Wyoming).
4) Retreats ---> LINK HERE
Immersive Somatic and Breathwork experiences designed to reconnect you with your body, regulate your nervous system, and cultivate healing through breath, movement, mindfulness, and embodied awareness. All are welcome!
SUBMERGE Alaska 2026 - WHAT AN INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE!!!, more details on this epic adventure with such beautiful humans coming sooooon!!!!!
SUBMERGE Tulum 2027 - Registration open!! --->LINK HERE
ONLINE MEETINGS:
1) The Heart of Recovery -
A weekly meeting that joins Buddhist meditation and spiritual step work, in order to connect to and engage in a commitment to recovery from addiction, and the everyday addictive behaviors and patterns in our lives. Anyone is invited to participate. Learn more here.
2) Al-Anon Meetings -
Al-Anon is a mutual support group for those that live around addiction. Anyone who's lives have been affected by another person’s addiction is welcome. Online electronic meeting information found here.
ADDITIONAL SUPPORT:
1) Podcast: HOPESTREAM - Hopestream Community™ is the not-for-profit destination for support, education and resources for parents of teens and young adults struggling with substance misuse and mental health challenges.
2) Website: SAMHSA - Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administraion -Resource for Families coping with mental health and substance abuse disorders.
3) Website: RECOVERY RESEARCH INSTITUTE - A Guide for family members.
4) Books: Titles that might help you understand addiction and various forms of healing modalities:
Codependent No More - Melody Beattie
In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts - Gabor Mate, M.D.
You Can Heal Your Life - Louise Hay
The Untethered Soul - Micheal Singer
The Body Keeps the Score - Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.
What Happened to You - Bruce D, Perry , M.D. Ph.D.
The Dance of Anger - Harriet G. Lerner, Ph.D.
A Monks Guide to Happiness - Gelong Thubten
SOURCES USED:
1) Perry, B. D., & Winfrey, O. (2021). What happened to you?: Conversations on trauma, resilience, and healing. Flatiron Books
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