Understand how to heal YOU while loving those suffering from addiction.
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Isolation is one of the toughest emotions to face. It creeps in slowly and once it takes root, it can be incredibly difficult to shake. And it’s a bit of a vicious cycle because you feel so alone, and then feel that you need to handle this alone, but you’re unsure of how to do that, and spiral further into your own isolation.
Not. Good.
We’ve all experienced it at some point—the feeling of being disconnected from others, even when we’re surrounded by people. It’s the emotion that whispers, “You’re alone in this,” even if logically, you know you’re not.
Ironically, isolation feels so lonely and can make you feel deeply disconnected…AND, it is actually a very common emotional experience.
It can be triggered by many things: a loss, a difficult transition, a broken relationship, or even just the overwhelm of life. In fact, you may not know what is triggering a certain bout of feeling isolated and that is completely okay. You don’t have to be able to understand all of the nuance that goes into your emotions.
Living around addiction, you get pretty used to isolation. I mean, it’s a very secret world, full of shame that leads to deep isolation. And it feels very much necessary to survive the stereotypes of living around loving those that struggle with addiction. Survival is necessary, so secrecy and isolation is necessary too. Otherwise jobs might be lost, loved ones ostracized from friend groups, family members will ridicule, neighbors will judge and children won’t have any friends to play with…..secrecy and isolation are key to survival. Or so it seems.
Regardless of the cause, isolation makes it feel as if we’re cut off from our support systems.
We need human interaction for connection and belonging. Brene Brown says it perfectly in her book Atlas of the Heart. “Love and belonging are irreducible needs for all people. In the absence of these experiences, there is always suffering.”
So, we’re not pushing it away! We’re creating space for it. We’re allowing ourselves to feel it, and then—just as importantly—we’re moving with it. Learning how to hold space for isolation, so we can find clarity in the changes we need to make and feel safe and connected in our worlds. One movement, one breath at a time.
This is a slow process, and takes time to build trust within relationships. It's a vulnerable process, and requires a safe space to share about the suffering you experience while loving those in addiction. Search out a safe space to begin connecting with others again. I list a bunch of resources below, and always find ways that resonate with you. I found my community through yoga, healing cirlces, group recovery, my therapists....there are lots of options for healing, find what works for you and stop isolating today.
Vicarious trauma is something that people living around addiction may experience, and increase the isolation they experience.
When our loved ones are in the midst of their addiction they sometimes put themselves in risky situations. Then when they recover they need support and you want to be there for them but sometimes hearing about their trauma effects us deeply and this reaction can be very isolating. It's so challenging because you don't want to push your loved ones aways by telling them you don't want to listen, or can't handle the information. You don't want them to not come to you for support, so you internalize the information. This is exactly what vicarious trauma is. You can actually experience symptoms of PTSD after hearing or witnessing the trauma of others.
This is an empathetic response that sometimes comes with engaging with trauma survivors or loved ones who have been living in the risky situations often present with addiction. Due to this, it is very important to make sure you find a strong supportive community for YOU and your healig needs.
Disclaimer: If at any time these tools feel too much– like you’re actually starting to feel flooded by the emotions and lose regulation, stop the skills and reach out to a professional to help you safely hold space for these tough emotions.
The QUICKSHIFT that I recommend for when you are experiencing isolation goes like this:
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Notice – this is always the first step, and the most important!!! If you don’t notice what’s happening in your system, it’s impossible to make changes!
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Pause – take a deep breath directly into your belly. Exhale super slowly.
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You can do this in any position, sitting, standing, or laying down.
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Bring both index fingers to the soft spot on the very top of your head, slightly towards the back, beyond the ears, this is the Crown Acupressure Point.
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Using the tips of both index fingers, begin to press down gently.
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Connect to your breath.
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Inhale, for a count of 2.
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Exhale, for a count of 2.
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Continue this pattern of slow, steady breathing as you apply pressure to your crown.
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Imagine a bright light entering through this point.
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An energy of support, filling you a bit more with each inhale.
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Support and love refueling you as you hold space for your isolation.
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Say hello to your isolation, begin to nourish your relationship with it. Notice what arises. Bring awareness to all that surfaces during this practice. Notice the parts of your body as you hold space for isolation, as well as allowing light to enter your being from the top down.
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When you feel the process is complete, return to stillness.
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Notice your breath. Just notice. Increase your capacity to be with the discomfort, one movement one breath at a time.
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Continue the deep belly breathing and noticing what has shifted, or moved as you held space for your isolation today.
What The Movement Does:
The goal with this Quick Shift is to shift that stagnant energy, reconnect with your body, and chip away at that wall that is making you feel disconnected from the world around you.
And moving, yes– literally moving, your body allows for that to happen.
Yes, it may sound simple, but there’s science behind it. When we feel emotionally stuck, our nervous system is often in a state of freeze or shut down.
This can make isolation feel heavier. The longer we stay in this state, the harder it is to break free.
The Quick Shift practices work by using intentional body movements to shift that stuck energy. It’s like pressing “reset” on your nervous system.
By choosing this somatic practice, you begin to interrupt the cycle of isolation. This movement sends signals to your nervous system that help re-establish connection and flow. It’s not about getting rid of the feeling of isolation; it’s about giving it space to move through you, so that it doesn’t become a permanent fixture.
That’s the power of somatic work: it doesn’t try to fix or bypass the emotion. It simply helps you move with it, making it more manageable and less consuming.
It takes time to heal. Allow yourself the space and time to prioritize that journey. Know that you’re taking the steps that you need to. Take a deep breath, and embrace the ride.
NEED A RECIPE HERE
1 Mint Sprig
Instructions: Combine all ingredients with only 1.5 ounces of the Club Soda into the shaker bottle, then shake and strain over ice in your glass, top off with the other 1.5 ounces of Club Soda to fill, and then garnish with the orange twist and cherries! Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!
RETREAT:
Registration just opened for SUBMERGE 2025 - an immersive breathwork and somatic retreat in Steamboat, CO! Reserve your spot today, space is limited! Sign up here!
ONLINE:
1) The Healing Circle -
Free online monthly somatic healing session (led by Heidi, founder of Life N Flow). Mondays @ 6am MST. Learn more and sign up here.
2) The Heart of Recovery -
A weekly meeting that joins Buddhist meditation and spiritual step work, in order to connect to and engage in a commitment to recovery from addiction, and the everyday addictive behaviors and patterns in our lives. Anyone is invited to participate. Learn more here.
3) Al-Anon Meetings -
Al-Anon is a mutual support group for those that live around addiction. Anyone who's lives have been affected by another person’s addiction is welcome. Online electronic meeting information found here.
Local Laramie Events:
1) Al-Anon Meetings -
This link has all recovery meetings for the area, scroll down to see the Al-Anon meeting times and locations. Click here.
2) The Healing Summit -
Calling all healing professionals, teachers, space holders, providers, healers, and facilitators....a weekend to expereince workshops, healing sessions and networking. June 21-23, 2025. Learn more here.
Additional Resources:
1) Podcast: HOPESTREAM - Hopestream Community™ is the not-for-profit destination for support, education and resources for parents of teens and young adults struggling with substance misuse and mental health challenges.
2) Website: SAMHSA - Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administraion -Resource for Families coping with mental health and substance abuse disorders.
3) Website: RECOVERY RESEARCH INSTITUTE - A Guide for family members.
4)Books: Titles that might help you understand addiction and various forms of healing modalities:
Codependent No More - Melody Beattie
In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts - Gabor Mate, M.D.
You Can Heal Your Life - Louise Hay
The Untethered Soul - Micheal Singer
The Body Keeps the Score - Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.
What Happened to You - Bruce D, Perry , M.D. Ph.D.
The Dance of Anger - Harriet G. Lerner, Ph.D.
A Monks Guide to Happiness - Gelong Thubten
The Let Them Theory - Mel Robbins
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